At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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