Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
