there's paper in my vomit.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
