doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize