yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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