I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
