Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have so much sex to catch up on
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
