The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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