Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
