just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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