Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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