Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.

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(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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(541): View more from Oregon

You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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(425): View more from Washington

I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

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(626): View more from California

Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"

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(632): View more from

Cookies and nudity, all you need in life

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.

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