I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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