so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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