I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
