yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its about making memories worth repressing
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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