i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
