Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
