guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
