She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
