Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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