I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
