We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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