so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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