and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
