oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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