We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
