I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
