Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dick very happy bro
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
