I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
