i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
