got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
