They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
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