hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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