my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
