is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
operation harelip BJ is a go
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
