I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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