I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
