pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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