Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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