we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
