I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
