I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
