Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
