If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
