Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
