office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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