I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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