Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
