I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
