Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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