I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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