He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
