so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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