just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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