she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
