fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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