i permit you to call me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
