Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
