i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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