There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
