His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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